Thought I was going to name this blog that – Life In The Margin.  Already taken.  Not surprising that I’m late to the game on that one.

Relieved of duty after 9 years of 24/7 care of two fellow human beings that I brought into the world, and now feel like a college grad whose been spit out and standing dumbstruck in an adult world.  In addition, I’ve also slid into a sea of limbo as the two businesses that I brought to life have moved out of my hands.  Where do I stand now?  In the margin.

Why the margin?  Take a look at any scholar’s notebook.  Where does their true spirit, their essence lie?  In the meticulous (or not so, if you are me) notes copied that were spewed out by some self proclaimed authority, dictated to lead one through a life of order, sanity and success?  Or is is in the doodles, the endless loops and circles, scratches and smiley faces, insignias and inspirations that lie in that 1 1/2″ space surrounding the page?

That’s where I stand, tossed out of the comfort of a carefully carved pathway, mapped idealistic views of purpose and identity, into a floating body of what ifs.  What if I just baked bread all of the time?  What if I became a Buddhist nun?  What if I had to detox from a food channel addiction? What if I just didn’t get out of bed today?  What if I just let The Universe decide who I am?  What if I just cry?

I don’t know what is next.  I just know what I feel and I’m going with that.  I want to write.  I want to bake bread from scratch with my hands.  I want to listen to music that inspires me and secretly write my own songs.  I want to meditate, for hours, and tour the inner worlds.  I want to paint. I want to move away and never look back.  I want to cry.

So this will be my detailed account of my margin life…. which in no way will be marginal, but starts from the doodles and the mindless connection to some other inspiration that is clearly bigger than us all.

Feels good to be out here.  Little chilly, and definitely exposed… kind of like peeling off a wet suit after several years, but only down to my knees.  I’m ready for what is coming next.  I’ll tell you this much… I had no idea it would start with a cold.

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